Spirit Speakeasy
Like a seat at the table in a secret club but with mediums, mystics and the spiritual luminaries of our time. Come behind the velvet ropes with me and see inside my world as I chat ‘insider style’ with profoundly gifted souls. We go deep, share juicy stories, laugh a lot, and it wouldn’t be a Speakeasy without great insider secrets! Plus solo episodes, just you and me, with psychic insights, inspiring chats & even sit in on mediumship readings! Hosted by Joyful Medium, Joy Giovanni (learn more about Joy across social media @joyfulmedium or on her website JoyfulMedium.com
Spirit Speakeasy
14 Surprisingly Meaningful Ways to Honor Loved Ones in Spirit (Holiday or Anytime)
Don’t let the holidays — or any season of life — make you feel disconnected from the people you love in the spirit world. In this heartfelt, soul-sparking episode, I’m sharing 14 meaningful, creative, and surprisingly simple ways to feel closer to your loved ones on the other side.
And these aren’t the usual “light a candle” suggestions you’ve heard a thousand times.
We’re going deeper with intuitive practices — easy, medium-effort, and more intentional legacy rituals — that help you honor your loved ones in ways that feel personal, healing, and alive.
You’ll hear:
• Super simple but meaningful rituals you can start right now
• Everyday ways to weave their presence into your current life and future
• Gentle practices to ease grief during holidays or ordinary days
• Medium-effort ideas that support reflection, remembrance, and celebration
• A few elevated, next-level “Legacy” rituals for when you want something truly special
• Personal stories to inspire your own creative connections and stir up new possibilities
Whether your grief is fresh or decades old, this episode offers comfort, grounding, and soulful ways to keep your loved ones close — not in a heavy way, but in a heart-lifting, deeply meaningful way.
⭐ If this episode supports you, please share it with someone who could use a little comfort today.
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Joy. Hey, beautiful soul, welcome to spirit. Speak Easy. I'm Joy Giovanni, joyful medium. I'm a working psychic medium, energy healer and spiritual gifts mentor. This podcast is like a seat at the table in a secret club, but with mediums, mystics and the spiritual luminaries of our time. So come behind the velvet ropes with me and see inside my world as I chat insider style with profoundly gifted souls, we go deep, share juicy stories, laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be a speakeasy without great insider secrets and tips. You might even learn that you have some gifts of your own so step inside the spirit speakeasy. Hey, beautiful soul. Welcome back for another episode of spirit speakeasy. Today's episode is for you. If you are carrying a loved one in your heart and you're wondering, what do I actually do with this? How do I honor them in a way that feels real and meaningful without doing the same 10 things everyone always suggests or talks about. If the holidays feel a little complicated for you, you are not alone. This season can stir up joy and cozy moments and connection, and it can also stir up grief or emptiness and that quiet ache of missing someone who's not physically here in the same way anymore. We're not about making basic lists of light a candle and visit their burial site and look at old photos. Here, I'm looking for new and exciting, interesting and heartfelt ways to celebrate your loved ones. Those typical ways can be beautiful, of course, but you've probably heard that list 100 times. This conversation today is really about deeper, more creative, more intuitive ways to weave your loved ones into your everyday life, into this season and into who you're continuing to become yourself as a soul in this experience. In this episode, I'm going to share three tiers of ideas, first simple, everyday, inexpensive practices that you can start immediately, even on a very low energy day. Then a set of medium creative ideas that use intention and symbolism in really beautiful ways. And then some more elaborate or legacy level rituals for when you feel ready for something deeper. These things like creating a living memory shelf, crafting essence inspired playlists that feel like them, making a legacy box for future generations, even an idea of a spirit dinner or potluck, where every dish represents a piece of their personality. We will also talk about grief honestly. Grief doesn't follow the calendar. It doesn't only show up in December, and I will give you some gentle caveats when it comes to things like dreams and asking for guidance from your loved ones, so that you are not putting pressure on yourself or on your loved ones in the spirit world, so as a working medium, one of the things I hear from Spirit people, those on the other side again and again, is that they don't want us to feel stuck in pain or Guilt or suffering. They love being remembered, and they do also love when we honor them by living, because the soul, like love, never dies. It lives on in different ways. We can choose to honor them by bringing forward their essence, their lessons and sometimes even their regrets, in a way that lets us, who are still here in the living live more fully. So if you're looking for fresh, soulful ways to honor your person this season, and you're tired of the same list everyone shares, take a breath, get comfy, and let's dive in together. So let's start with what I like to call the easy, everyday ideas. These are things that you probably are already doing a segment of, that don't require any special supplies or big emotional capacity. They are simple things that you can do on an ordinary Tuesday in your regular life, and they still create a real sense of deep connection. The first one is something I absolutely love, and I use all the time myself because it's so simple and powerful. This first suggestion is about creating a micro moments of them ritual. So how can we create our own micro moments of our person, our loved one on the other side, this is a simple one. You pick a daily moment, your first sip of tea in the morning, turning on a lamp in the evening, opening the windows, and silently dedicate that moment to them. It's like a private, sacred practice that threads them into your everyday life. The. Main concept for this suggestion is choosing a tiny, everyday action that you already do, something that you don't even have to think about, and silently dedicating it to, pausing and thinking about your special person in the other side, in this moment, it's not a big ritual, it's not a ceremony, just micro acknowledgements. This can be something that you do daily, like throughout your day. It can be something that you do weekly, or just whenever you feel called. It can be something that they used to do, something that reminds you of them, or simply a moment you already know that you naturally take a pause. So I'm going to give you some quick examples on this one, but this is a great one, because it's the most flexible. It's not like you're trying to remember to do something every single day and as a little pro tip, sometimes it helps when we attach a tradition or a habit or something we're trying to create to something we're already doing just because we're already doing that thing, and it's so much easier to create another habit alongside a habit that we already do, like brushing your teeth, for example. So I'm going to give you some super quick and easy examples here, and hopefully you'll start thinking about those little, micro moments that you do in your day to day life, that you could pause, take a breath and think about your loved one at the same time. Again. These are super simple ways to integrate them. Think about taking that first sip of tea or coffee in the morning, or even that process like I don't know about you, but I put some things in my coffee in the morning, so even as you're pouring that milk or creamer or whatever sweeteners you're using as you're stirring it together, that can all be part of this micro moment, or it can just be the first sip. It can be something like switching on the lamps in the evening in your space, wherever you are, and taking that moment as you're turning on those lamps, even if it's a click of a button on an app to just imagine saying a little Hello, or a little I love you to that loved one on the other side. It could be something like opening the blinds in the morning. I definitely do that. I try to often open my Windows if it's not too cold, too so it could be in that moment. It can be when you're washing your hands. You know, some people, if you've ever, taught little kids to wash their hands, I taught my kids with singing the happy birthday song twice for the amount of time they needed to wash their hands. Maybe you're saying a little hello to your loved one the spirit world during that time when you're washing your hands, or singing a little jingle to them, or even like something that they would always say, just kind of mentally repeating that as a little moment of pause. It can be when you start your car, when you're putting on your shoes, when you're taking your vitamins. If you are someone who lights like a salt lamp or a diffuser, you might even think about pausing and making this a general moment to say hello to all of your loved ones and ancestors, like every time you light that candle in the day or evening or start that scented oil diffuser or salt lamp purification or even an air purifier. Just thinking of all of your ancestors and giving just a moment of acknowledgement and love and appreciation, it can be I have a couple more specific examples with little stories for you. On this one, putting on hand lotion before bed. I know some people like to do that. I have a friend, actually, who's they? Have an auntie in the spirit world who was very attentive to her skincare. I'm sure we all know ladies like this, or even gentlemen. And she always reminded her niece, my friend, to use her sunscreen to cover her skin from the sun, to wear a hat to stay up on. You know, her youthfulness and taking care of her skin. And this woman always knew the latest skin secrets. And my friend still has a very simple routine herself, but when she washes her face and puts on lotion in the evening, she says a little hello to that aunt and can she says she can almost feel this Auntie smiling back in approval of this gentle care that she's taking of her skin, even though it's her super simple routine for her. I had another friend whose grandpa was very superstitious. And when we would ride in the car with him, anytime he drove the car over railroad tracks, he would touch the ceiling, like the inside ceiling of the car, and he would say, for luck. And so she grew up doing this with him. I witnessed it often as well. And after his passing, whenever she found herself driving over railroad tracks, she would naturally want to touch the ceiling. And she even just sometimes says it to herself, if there's other people in the car, but she kind of whispers to herself, like, Hi grandpa, for luck. So it can be something very simple, like that. This is such a powerful practice, because it threads the presence of your loved one gently into your day without making grief too heavy in these moments, and because it's attached to something you already do, it's easy to remember and keep up on. It creates a. Insistent, warm anchor point that says, I remember you. I carry you. Hello. I'm thinking about you. I love you. And it flows right along with the way that spirit people often connect through ordinary moments and very rarely connect in these big, dramatic experiences and displays. That connection continues, really in all of the moments in our lives, but we can be especially aware of them in the quieter moments. Okay. Number two, this next one I want to talk about is wearing something in honor of them. This is like a symbolic, intuitive connection that doesn't require having their actual belongings. So before you say, Wait, I don't have anything that belonged to this person. This really, the concept here is about choosing an item that you wear or carry that represents who this person is to you or what they love, or something that they taught you. For example, it doesn't have to be something that they owned. It can be chosen entirely for its symbolism, like something you just choose. And this is especially meaningful for people who, like I said, don't have a physical item of their loved one, or who prefer subtle everyday reminders that, like no one else would even know was something of their loved ones. How does this one work? This one's really easy. So in order to wear something in honor of your loved one, you essentially just pick an item and designate it as your connection item. So this becomes your personal way of holding them close throughout Of course, holiday season or any time you need to feel connected to them. I'm going to give you some examples, because this one, as well as the first one, you can be as creative as you want. So it could be as simple as you wearing an item that is the color that they loved, just to hold on to a little piece of them or carry their memory. It could be like a little handkerchief or a pocket square. It could be a sweater, it could be a scarf. It could be a piece of jewelry that's that color. It could be socks. It could be anything. It can be a texture or fabric that reminds you of them, like really stretching this idea. So like, if they are someone who's very soft and nurturing, maybe you have a special warm sweater that feels cozy, like their personality, or maybe they were strong and bold, and leather makes you think of them. So maybe you have a leather jacket or a belt or a wrist cuff that makes you feel the memory of the energy of how they are as a person. It can be fun socks, right? So it doesn't have to just be the color of socks. It can be a fun sock that reminds you of them or fits their energy, their personality, like, if they were playful, you could choose something that's like, a really playful pattern, but it can be something you actually enjoy, like little corgis or something, if that's your favorite type of dog. So it's, it's the essence of them being represented in the playfulness of the sock. But the the little decorations are actually something that you enjoy. You don't have to wear something that you don't like. It can be something like a small piece of jewelry that makes you feel their style or their personality. I actually do this one quite often. I have a friend that I'm thinking of in particular on the other side who wore really bold, chunky silver like rings and bold necklaces that were carved or adorned with big stones. And I have a few rings, bigger stone rings that I wear that I choose on days when I want to bring this friend with me. But someone who has, like, for example, a brother who is adventurous that's on the other side might wear a simple leather bracelet because it carries bold, grounded energy, or onyx or like that lava stone, because it's grounding and earthy, right? So I do mine in big, chunky jewelry, because that just represents my friend. I mean, I could easily do a leather cuff for this specific friend, but hopefully you're getting the vibe of what I mean, and it doesn't have to do anything with them at all. It can be a perfume or a scented oil that reminds you of them. It could be a scent tied to a vacation that you shared, or a time in your lives, or simply their vibe or personality. If they were woodsy and grounded, maybe you choose a scent that's more earthy. If they loved roses or gave you roses, maybe a soft rose scent of like an oil and a diffuser or perfume. Could be a good way to carry them or remember them. It could be a crystal that holds qualities that they had a pin or a charm on your purse or bag, even if it's tucked inside where only you see it. It might be a pin related to a hobby like Disney or a specific flag or a sport that is so little that no one else would notice it, or even like a small blue ribbon tied or pinned to the inside of a zipper because they loved the ocean, for example, it can be a hair accessory or a nail color that mirrors their. Vibe or their personality, or like a hat, or like a T shirt or a hoodie and a color or a pattern that symbolizes them, even without a picture or a quote, you can choose something based on what they always encouraged, like if they wanted you to, if it was like a grandma that was always like, oh, make sure you dress more. Make sure you bring a layer. You could maybe have a cozy scarf that you use to represent her personality. If they love travel, maybe it's like a travel themed keychain, even if it's not something that they gave you or from a trip, just somewhere that you know, that they traveled, that they loved, it could be something like if they always wore nice things, right, or if they said it's nice to dress your best, right? And we're always encouraging you to dress up a little bit. It could be you using wearing something that you would normally save for a special occasion on a more regular day as like a hello to them or an honoring of them. You can wear earrings that feel like them. I recently heard a story on a podcast that I listened to that this person's partner passed away from a very aggressive illness that felt so opposite to their normal personality, their bright they were like a bright shining star in this world. And in the final days, this partner, who is still here, said, Come back to me as lightning. And not long after, after this person's passing, there was like this unseasonal storm with beautiful lightning that cracked across the sky, and it was so validating that became like one of her special signs for her loved one. And this person found a pair of very beautiful, delicate lightning earrings at a farmer's market that they weren't expecting at all, and so they even decided to get their ears pierced, so they could wear these earrings and feel like they were giving a nod to having this person with them all the time. So this one is really powerful because it's a symbolic honoring, and it honors the changes inside your everyday experience. So instead of needing an heirloom or a physical memento, you are intentionally choosing something that creates something you can feel like a sense of connection that you're creating if it activates memories, your intuition and your emotional relationship with this special person on the other side in very subtle but very impactful ways. And this also shifts the honoring of them from something passive into something embodied that you can wear or carry. So you're literally carrying their energy or influence with you as you move through your day. And it becomes a very quiet, private way of saying you're still with me. I'm bringing you along. I'm acknowledging you with me in my day to day moments. Okay, so this next idea on the simple and easy bucket here is ask them a gentle question before bed. So how do we ask a gentle question of our loved ones in the spirit world that does not invoke pressure or any stress, and that can invoke the natural softness of our nighttime mind. So the real concept here is right before bed, when your mind is naturally getting quieter, hopefully you can invite a moment of connection by just sending a thought or an idea to your loved one of a simple question. So this isn't about expecting a sign or a dream or like an answer to something you're trying to solve. It's simply opening a space for reflection and connection and comfort and awareness. So this practice is more about your energy softening than your loved one needing to, like, show up and give you a sign or give you something, or show themselves in some way. This is really about your energy, softening to the awareness of them. I'm going to give a little important caveat here. If you are fresh in your grief or moving through a really difficult emotional wave, your dreams, if you have them, may reflect your own unsettled emotions and fears. That doesn't mean that anything is wrong or that your loved one is upset. It's simply your mind and your human emotions processing an overwhelming time, an overwhelming experience. Spirit does not send nightmares or fear. That's of our stressed out human mind fearful dreams are the physical psyche working through pain. So I'm hopefully, hopefully. I'm like underlining this enough here, beautiful, comforting dreams can happen, but they can't be forced, and we have to be in the right state in our emotions and in our awareness. And both are normal. Stressful dreams are normal. Beautiful dreams are normal, and neither means you're doing anything wrong. But just know if you have a startling dream, or the kind of dream where we're searching for someone or trying to, you know, get out of something, those are our stressful human emotions, and not from the spirit world. So let's talk a little bit more about how. To ask this question of our loved one in the spirit world before our sleep time. Essentially, you want to ask a really gentle question, not firm and hard and demanding, but more just opening your heart with the idea of the question. And it should be things like, what would you want me to remember about myself right now, or what part of my life could use a little softening of my energy, of my emotion, or something like, help me remember a happy moment in our relationship? Or what quality of yours could I bring into my life this week? So hopefully you see how these questions are more focused on reflection, not decision making. And then, as you go to sleep without expectation, no pressure, no waiting or demanding, a dream, just let your mind process and settle and just take note of what emotions show up in your dreams. Maybe it's a dream of you flying or having a fun vacation, or maybe it's a dream that is really creative and colorful, so it's more like the essence and what you can take with you based on, you know, the way that you floated the question. But it's just about being open hearted. And maybe it'll be in your next day or days that you'll keep hearing the word hopeful, or you keep seeing something similar, like a pattern. And that's where making some notes can really help. It helps to remember the question that you floated and to start noticing the little synchronicities of like something showing up in a repetitive way. That's really helpful. And just a note about decision making spirit or, you know, your loved ones in the spirit world will almost never tell you what to do. They don't make decisions for us because we have free will. It's a kind of a annoying requirement, and they have to respect our free will, even if we are saying, my free will is that you give me the answer and figure this out for me, that's kind of not how it works. So just know that they're not going to give you the answer, but they are going to love you and support you, and certainly can encourage us or highlight different parts of our path for us, and these are gentle nudges, not instructions, so they can help us remember our strengths, our values. They can help us have a calmer perspective, so we can make choices that feel more aligned. But the help of the spirit world is usually subtle and supportive. It's not usually directive. So what to notice without pressure, like I was saying, synchronicities, the same theme popping up, a calmer feeling in the morning, a little piece of small piece of clarity, a softened emotion, a memory that comes up. Perhaps it could be a phrase or a thought that keeps coming or that you keep repeating. Once in a while, I actually will wake up with a song in my head. It happens kind of a lot, actually, and it won't be a song that I would have been listening to. It's like a feels very random, but, but it's not, and you might even have a sense of like, what matters most, right? Of like, Okay, I remember the thing that matters most is that I'm, you know, feeling fulfilled in my life, for example, and not making the most money. So I'm going to give you some experience, some examples of experiences on this one, and then we will move along to the harder ones, or more involved ideas. So some example experiences, someone told me that she would always ask her dad what she should focus on next, and when he crossed over, she started asking at bedtime, what would you want me to remember about myself right now? Because he was always so good at pointing out her strengths and her qualities in any given situation, and the answer that came for her was never a voice, never him showing up in a vision and saying, from his voice, do this. It came more about clarity about what mattered most and who she truly was, and that remembering of who she was really made the decisions a lot more clear. And another person I know said that she would her sister crossed over, and she said that she would ask her sister in spirit for one small memory moment, and one day, while driving to work, she passed a park, and a memory bubbled up that she hadn't thought about in years of her learning to ride her bike at the park when she was little, and it helped her feel more confident in herself, because she remembered, you know, as part of that memory, when she finally did get it and learn to ride her bike, how much freedom she felt and how powerful she felt. So she was able to connect those dots from that small memory, but she was available for the memory to come up as she moved through the world in her day to day. So these intentions can create connections without pressuring the door opening or needing a specific sign so you see how it's a little bit softer. Now, this is a really powerful technique, because it invites your loved one into the space of. Comfort and quiet and reflection, and they do communicate, often in such a subtle way, even if you've never had a dream, even if nothing dramatic happens, the act of asking or holding that gentle intention in your heart creates a moment of softness and connection, and it becomes a way of saying, I'm thinking about you. I want to stay close with you, and in their own gentle way, they definitely do from the other side. So those are a few of the simple everyday practices you might already feel yourself gravitating towards one of these that I've mentioned or two that feel doable right now, and honestly, even if you chose only one and let it become a part of your rhythm, that's enough. You don't have to do all the things to stay connected and get creative. These are deeply personal to you and to your day to day habits and happenings like little private ways that we're continuing our relationship with our loved ones through our day to day. And if you're feeling a little more resourced, or are someone who loves creativity and symbolism, this next group of ideas takes things a step deeper. So we're shifting into some of my medium effort ideas, the kind that invite a little more intention, a little more creativity, and hopefully even a touch of play, as you weave your loved ones into your life in meaningful new ways. So this is not the high effort category, but just the medium effort category. So the first thing I want to suggest here is a living memory shelf. So what is a living memory shelf? It's a small, intentional space that honors both your loved one's presence and your ongoing life. It is a living memory shelf, not a shrine, not a space that's frozen in the past. It's a tiny, evolving place where something that represents your loved one sits next to something that represents your current life or your future. And this creates a symbolic bridge between who you are now, who they continue on, how they continue on with you, and who you are becoming. And it emphasizes ongoing connection instead of loss. So how does this work? How does the living memory shelf work? Essentially, you choose a small surface, this can be like the corner of a bookshelf or a little segment of your dresser or a windowsill or a bedside table or a little shelf or whatever. You have a tiny surface, and you select two items to start with one item that connects you to them. So this could be a piece of their handwriting or their signature, if you have that, it could be a photo of them or a photo of a place or an object that you feel connected to them. So it could be like a vacation that you took, for example, and even if you don't have a picture of that place or a place they always wanted to go, you could get a picture of that place in a magazine or online, right? It could be a symbolic object that carries their energy, like a rock or a feather or a vintage key or dried flower or a small little souvenir or tchotchke. It could be a quote or a phrase that they used. It can be a color or an object associated with their personality. So that's one item, and then the second item represents you now and your future. And this could be something like a little candle that you light when you set your intentions, a slip of paper with your most current affirmation on there. It could be a small little plant that you're giving love and abundance to. It could be a tiny object that represents your next chapter. Could be a crystal tied to clarity or healing or courage that you're trying to manifest. It could be a keepsake from something you're working on like your favorite journaling pen or a business card or a pendant. There's no rules here, and it doesn't have to make sense to anyone else. So these items don't have to be obviously a hello or a nod to this person or to this future version of you, but the two items together say, I'm carrying you forward with me. You're a part of my life. You're not just a part of my past. You're a part of my today and my future. And we are still partners in this lifetime together, just in a different way. And over time, you can add a third item or even more items, if you feel called it can be things like because, think about it, this connection that we still have together and the way they're still showing up for you. So like a dime or a penny that you found as a hello from them, a tiny butterfly charm, if butterflies are your sign from them, a photo of a rainbow that you snapped while you were thinking of them. It could be a rock that. Picked up on a walk when they came to mind. Or if you have tangible signs with them, it can be something that represents the sign that you receive from them in the world, or something special between you. So that's how it can kind of grow and become this living memorial. And you can change out the items whenever you want. I'm going to give you a couple examples, and hopefully this will become a little bit more clear. This one is not really hard, but again, obviously it's a little more effort. But I use this one myself as well. So I know a woman who placed her grandfather's old pocket knife, that's the thing that she had, next to a tiny, little succulent plant, and the knife represented his grounded, practical nature. It's something he always carried with him. And this plant to her, represented her commitment to creating softer, more nurturing lifestyle for herself, and to really remember that she can nurture herself every day. That's what this plant represented for her. So it's like they were working together, represented in these two symbolic items. And later she continued to add a little tiny ceramic shot glass, because she received pennies from this grandpa, pennies from heaven. And so in this little, tiny shot glass, she would put the pennies in there, and that was part of her living memorial. So I loved that idea. Someone else I know used a favorite beach photo of her mom, like from a time that they had just been walking on the beach and snapped it. She snapped a quick picture of her mom, and she placed it next to a small crystal that's tied to confidence. I think it was a Citrine, like that gold, yellow type of crystal, which is about confidence and putting yourself out there. It's very Leo energy. So her mom really struggled with her own confidence in this lifetime, and so pairing these two together for my friends symbolized both gratitude and generational healing, because she wanted to live into a confidence that her mom didn't get to experience, and wanted to make her choices going forward from a very confident, secure place. So she really felt like she was also doing healing for her mom, on behalf of her mom, in this way, and she occasionally would also add, like a shell or a stone or a feather from her own contemplated BEACH WALKS because part of her connection with her mom, she'd go occasionally for walks on the beach, and those would be their spirit walks, is what she called them, and if she found a certain shell that she liked or was drawn to, she'd add it to this little memorial. Since those were walks with her mom, I'm gonna give you one more example here, just because I want you to see just how outside the box you can go another person I know had a handwritten little note from their person, and they kept it next to a little small candle that they lit when they were planning the week. And each week, while doing this, they imagined a single word or a small phrase that their aunt might say as an added message for the week. And maybe it was focus, maybe it was dedication, maybe it was confidence. Their aunt was someone who really liked back in the day, those calendars that you could get with like the quotes and the uplifting phrases, and her aunt was just just enjoyed that. So she thought that was a great way of representing this person. And so every week, she wrote it on a sticky note and stuck it on her dresser to remind her for the week. So you could do something like that. Or if you're someone who likes or has oracle cards, if you want to take this to the next level, you could even pull a card of the week or a card of the day from a deck that you have that like you just think represents this person or your favorite deck, for example. And it's a way to keep going and keep that guidance and keep connected with them. To say, like, Hey, I'm asking for your influence here. Let's still be a team. Let's still communicate. So I'm going to give you some other additional options that I just want to mention as like, I kind of think of this as like, make your own Sunday bar, or it's like, what toppings do you want, what flavors do you want? So you could also think about changing these items seasonally, or just even whenever you feel inspired, you can kind of clear out and put new ones or start again or change it however you like it should say small enough that it never feels like really heavy or overwhelming or stressful for you, it can be fully private or placed somewhere where only you see it like it could even be tucked inside a drawer if you want. So it doesn't have to be on display for anyone. It doesn't have to be like a shelf, quote, unquote. Technically, it can be something that you use during grounding or meditation or intention setting. It can even be something you wear and take off and put next to this symbolic place. So there's really way outside the box that you can get with this. And this is so powerful as a practice because it reframes honoring your loved one as something alive and still growing this relationship. With you. It's not stagnant, it's not gone, it's still growing and still has energy and love. It's just we are connected in a different way and can communicate in a different way now. And it acknowledges that your relationship with them doesn't end. It's just transformed in the living memory shelf. The way I like to think of it is it symbolizes continuity instead of finality and continuing on, presence instead of absence, integration instead of separation, because they are still a part of us and so integrated into who we are and into our hearts. It's nice to do these little rituals, and essentially it becomes a gentle reminder that you're telling them you're still a part of my story. I'm still growing, and we're still on this path together. So if you like the idea of having a tiny physical space that evolves with you, this next one shifts that idea onto the page. It's a little bit less about objects and more about words and relationships. So the next practice is called a continuing the conversation letter. So what is a continuing the conversation letter? This is like a living dialog that honors your relationship as ongoing, not ended. So the main concept here is that instead of writing the traditional grief letter, or like a letter to say goodbye, maybe you've heard of that, this is more of a letter that continues the relationship. So you write to your person in the spirit world in a way that you would if they were still physically here, but with a gentle awareness that the connection now moves through your intuition, through your emotions, through memory, through shared energy. It's not about closure, it's about continuation. So this could be something like a single letter that you do one time. It can be a letter that you add to over time. It can be a running note in your phone. It can be a journal that you return to whenever you feel inspired, like an ongoing journaling exercise. And you could even use like a specific, dedicated notebook that is your continuation, continuing the conversation, letter with them. This really keeps that bond active, not frozen in time. So how does this work? You basically choose a moment when you feel calm or reflective, and you begin to write to your person on the other side, as if you're in the middle of a conversation. So you can write about something funny that happened today. You can write about something you're proud of, something you're struggling with or feeling frustrated about. It can be a memory that just bubbled up. It can be something you wish you could ask this person. It can be something you want to celebrate with them, or you want them to celebrate with you. It can be an update, like, on a big decision that you made, or even a small decision. It can be something that you have clarity on, or like see differently. Now this could be, of course, if you wanted to, like, write about something that you've experienced, that they would have just loved, you don't have to sign off or end the letter or wrap it up neatly. It's it's not so much like a letter with an ending. It's a living dialog written in chapters or moments or glimpses of things that you want to share with them. On the other side, here's some optional prompts if you need a little help getting started with this continuation letter, I'm going to give you just a little Lisp, and again, get creative and open your mind, and then I'm going to give you some examples. So here's some prompts you could think about. For example, here's what you would have laughed at today that happened, or I thought of you when x, y, z. Or you'd be so proud to know that. And then write your letter. I could really use your kind of wisdom about this situation. I know what you would say about this thing that happened, or I'm carrying forward this part of you in my own life, and here's how it's showing up. And these keep that warm ongoing communication between you alive. And for some people, they didn't have that communication with their person in the living. So this is a way to even maybe have a deeper communication than you could with them while they were still here in the physical. So here are a few examples to illustrate. Someone I know wrote a small note to their mom every Sunday night. This was in representation of it. They used to have a Sunday call with this person, and so sometimes they wrote a paragraph, sometimes it was a sentence. And over time, the letter became a space where my friend felt comforted and seen and like they still were telling their mom about their day every Sunday, and another person wrote in more of like a conversation style, back and forth letter with her sister on the other side. So she'd write what she wanted to tell her sister, and then she would actually write the words that she could imagine her sister saying in response, not because she heard a voice out of the sky, but because she knew her sister so well. She like knew. She would be saying in response, and it helped her to remember and feel connected to her sister's humor, her warmth, her like quirky, sassy way of seeing the world. So you can do it that way. And I know someone else who used more of like a digital Notes app and typed one line every time a memory popped up. And after several months, it became this really beautiful, living tribute of tiny, small memories and sometimes big memories that came to their awareness over time. So this one is so powerful because it honors the fact that the relationship doesn't disappear, it's just changed. Forms a continuing the conversation letter becomes a place to feel close with our loved one, a safe outlet for reflection, a way to notice this person's influence in your life, a reminder that this bond is ongoing, and certainly they still care about what's going on with you. It also helps soften kind of the sharp edges of grief by shifting the focus from they're gone to we are still connected, and it becomes a gentle affirmation of this idea of like we're still in conversation. It's just in a new way. And remember, with all of these get creative based on your own personality and what feels interesting to you or aligned with you or fun. For you, you don't have to do something that feels like homework or like something unenjoyable. And if you're more of an audio person, or if you feel things through sound and mood, then this next idea might be the best doorway for you. We're going to bring your person into the present through something many of us use every day. Which is music? Let's talk about creating an essence inspired playlist. So what is an essence inspired playlist? This is a playlist that captures who your person and spirit was, and is not just the songs they liked. So the core concept here really is instead of creating a playlist with songs that this person loved, which can sometimes feel heavy or too hard to listen to, or bring up memories we're not ready for, this is a playlist that's more inspired by the essence of the person, right the mood, their personality, their energy, the vibe of who they were and How they showed up in the world. It's qualities that made them who they were. That's what's inspiring this playlist. And so it becomes a living, evolving playlist that reflects the spirit of who they are, rather than just only songs that they liked. Although that could be a part of it, we'll talk about that in a minute. So this becomes something fun, soulful, surprising, and because it's based on their personality, not their era or time period, it can stay light and uplifting and fun, hopefully. So. How does this work? Essentially, you create a playlist in your platform of choice, and you choose songs based on like the qualities that your person embodied, or how they made you feel or like, the tone of their personality, for example, or the kind of energy they brought into a room, or growth that they inspired in you. Maybe it's inspired by the way that they lived, or things they wish that they had gotten to do or lived. It could be having to do with inside jokes that you shared, or memories of them that you have, that you treasure, so you let the vibe lead, instead of the literal things that they used to listen to. So here are some ideas to just kind of spark your inspiration. For example, if your person was like, bold or rebellious, maybe you add songs that really to you feel confident or fiery or driven, if they are someone who was really spiritual and soft and introspective, maybe you add softer, quieter, more reflective tracks. If they were like silly or playful or zany, maybe you choose like whimsical or joyful or just like out of the box music. If there's someone who's nurturing, maybe you include those songs that are warm and comforting and make you feel reminiscent, right? If there's someone who's like protective or very steady, maybe you choose music that feels grounding or has like really strong rhythms, or strong drums, for example, if there's someone who is really adventurous, like a world traveler, maybe you have music from different genres in different parts of the world. Maybe it's like wanderlust inspired tracks, right travel tracks. And maybe, if they're creative, it's songs that feel like color or texture or imagination. If they're a deep feeler, maybe it's songs that have, like, a lot of emotional depth or truth. So I'm going to give you some examples to illustrate this, just so you can get a little more idea of what I'm talking about. Now I do know someone who did this playlist, quite literally. I. This person had so many wonderful memories of her dad, who was on the other side from the 70s, his style, his confidence, his like smooth, charismatic way. He was quite a stylish, dapper dresser, and he had this huge record collection, and he loved bands like Earth, Wind and Fire, all the funk, all the disco, James Brown, Barry White. And so she was able to create kind of his perfect playlist of songs that he listened to and loved on these new platforms, because everything's available now. Having him with her in the car again is the way she would say it when she listened to it, oh, I've got my dad in the car whenever she would have his playlist on. But again, you don't have to do it based on songs that they love. You can. You can do it as like, I know someone that created a playlist for her brother in the spirit world, who had, he just had this like, relaxed sensibility. He was easy going when he was the best of himself. He was very positive in his outlook. He loved people making laugh, like making people laugh. So instead of using the old songs that he liked because they had very different music tastes, she chose really like upbeat and mellow tracks that felt like his easy going attitude. And she included like Bob Marley and other reggae artists. And she always said listening to it felt like hanging out with him again, because it brought about the vibe of his personality. I know another person that made a playlist inspired by their best friend's strength and sassiness. So it can be fun, it can be fun aspects of their personality. And on this playlist, they chose, like, really spunky tracks, some songs with attitude or like spicy vibes, a lot of girl power type anthems. And they said that they could almost feel the pep talks and fun times whenever they listened to this playlist, that the energy of the music just felt like the energy of their friend. I know someone else who crafted a playlist for a partner who passed away very young, and they included songs that evoked freedom and movement and light and things that this person always longed for, that they had kind of a challenging experience in life, and they always longed for their freedom, for more movement, for light, For ease. And so the playlist felt like honoring the potential that this person never got to fully express, like the true fullness of who they were, and not the challenges that they had in this life. So hopefully you can see that you get real creative and out of the box with this one and some additional options I just have to mention is one. You can have several playlists. You can have morning, evening, holiday, travel Inspire. You don't have to do just one per person. You can add to it whenever you feel called to you can listen to it while doing something ordinary, like driving or cleaning, or you can listen to it when you want to be inspired by that person or feel them around you. You can use it as a grounding ritual before like big decisions or emotional days. You can share it with family or friends of theirs, or you can keep it completely private, or you can have one for each right, a private one and one you're going to share. So one of the reasons this is so powerful is because music bypasses our busy thinking mind and goes straight to the heart and the energy of the body and who we are, and an essence inspired playlist creates a bridge to your loved one through feeling, not just your thinking mind, it helps you connect with the living qualities of Who they are, the spark, the soul, the presence, rather than just the absence of them. And it becomes a way of saying, I remember how you felt in the room. I can still feel you here. I still want to connect with you in this way. And PS, I also think of playlists as like a living, always growing entity of its own. So be sure to take advantage of your platforms. There's like a suggested songs that usually will pop up as you're making a playlist or listening to one, because the suggested songs might invoke different memories or be a different aspect of their personality that you can keep adding and memories can keep coming up, so that's a really fun way to keep that list evolving and and living as well. And while we're talking about symbols and feelings, there is one more medium level practice I want to offer before we move into the more elaborate rituals. And this one can even blend nicely with holiday decor and seasonal energy without making grief kind of the main event, it's choosing a personal holiday or seasonal symbol for your loved one. So how do you choose a personal holiday or seasonal symbol for your loved one and incorporate it easily? So the main concept here is instead of relying on. Traditional Memorial objects or like sad rituals, you can choose a single symbol that holds the essence or the personality of your loved one for the season, and this symbol becomes more like a subtle, beautiful way of weaving your loved one on the other side into the holiday season without grief kind of taking center stage for you. This can be like the symbol itself. Can be a color, it can be a shape, it can be an animal, a flower, a little small design or motif, a natural element, like wood, for example. It can be a simple design or pattern. And this works really well, especially during the holidays, because symbolism is already everywhere in decor and cards and rapping and music and seasonal imagery, whether it's seasonal or like holiday specific. So how does this one work? Essentially, you select a symbol that you feel intuitively connects to your person on the other side, you get to choose then you intentionally incorporate into your holiday season in small and meaningful ways. So here's some examples. You could wear jewelry with that symbol. You could choose wrapping paper that includes it adding one ornament or decorative element that has this symbol or animal in it. It could be a drawing or like a stamp, like, you know, there's a rubber stamps. You can stamp your holiday cards with. You can use it on the wallpaper of your phone for the season. You can tie a ribbon again with color on your purse or on yourself. You can incorporate it into your makeup or nail color, if it's a color or your outfits. You can include it into your holiday decor, or like table scapes or however you're putting decorations, you can choose a candle, like a specific diffuser or scent oil, or specific like flower that represents this person for this season, and it just becomes a gentle way of honoring them and infusing them all around you into the season. So I'm going to give you some examples that hopefully will solidify this a little bit for you. These are hopefully fresh and non traditional, and can feel a little more aligned with who you are and how you remember this person. So for example, if your loved one, like adored the ocean, your symbol could be a tiny wave shape or like a seafoam color or a shell motif that you just kind of hide or infuse in your decorations, someone whose father was steady and grounding presence might choose evergreen sprigs or the tree to represent that stability, those strong roots. If your grandma loved sunflowers, for example, instead of using the literal symbol of a sunflower, which you could, but if you felt like it feels too summery or fall, if it's winter, you could, instead of using a literal sunflower, you could choose golden accents or the color gold, or a certain yellow or round shapes or warm yellow ribbon as their seasonal symbol. If your spouse or partner, for example, had a playful spirit, you could choose stars or polka dots or whimsical kind of designs or icons that symbolize the personality or capture their energy, or if they wore, like memorable flannel shirts in the winter, or PJ's, for example, you could incorporate similar or plaid or flannel sheets or throws or pillows. You could even wrap gifts in like plaid wrapping paper that's inspired by the flannels that they always wore. If your child, who's on the other side, love dinosaurs or penguins or a particular cartoon character, you might incorporate the color palette or the pattern subtly into your holiday touches. You could use the literal, literal imagery. Of course, I'm thinking of someone specific who's had a kiddo that loved penguins, and so around holidays, they always have little penguin decorations and Penguin socks with the little scarfs and the hats and Penguin wrapping paper. And nobody knows that that's what it is, but that's why they're using it. So you could find ways to integrate either the actual penguin in this example or just the idea of like black and white colors or textures or things like that. So the symbol doesn't have to be obvious or recognizable to anyone else. It can be completely private, if you want, and deeply meaningful. So here a couple other optional variations I want to just throw in there. You could switch the symbol each year as your relationship or as your own emotions evolve. You could choose a simpler symbol during harder years, right? Maybe it's just a triangle on years that it's really hard, or a star, because those are around a lot, and you can be more elaborate as you feel able. You could share the symbol with your family, or you could keep it just for yourself. You could treat the symbol as a hello from them, like a little sign when it naturally appears in your surroundings. Of course, you can let the symbol kind of appear on its own without you decorating. Of it and treat it as a new connection point. And this one is really powerful, because choosing a symbol creates a living thread of connection that blends so naturally into any holiday season. It avoids heaviness while honoring meaning. It can be private, a beautiful reminder of your loved one's presence just for you, it can really help you infuse their personality, their energy, woven gently through a season that sometimes can otherwise feel kind of overwhelming. And this practice really allows you to say you're still here with me. I'm still feeling you around me. I want to carry you forward in the way I move through this season and all the seasons. So at this point, you might already have a handful of ideas circling in your mind, and you might be thinking, Okay, I could actually see myself doing one or two of these ideas that we've talked about so far. Remember, the point is for you to pick and choose the ideas that feel interesting to you or that feel aligned or resonate with you, and it doesn't have to be all of them. It's not about performing them correctly. It's more about finding what generally genuinely resonates for you and for your loved one who's on the other side. For some of you, though, there will come a time where you feel ready for something a little more ceremonial, something that makes you like you want to mark a turning point in your grief or in your life, or for a season, or with this loved one on the other side. And it can really be powerful. I'm going to show you through these next ideas, they're a bit more elaborate. They can become really powerful traditions, or I'm thinking of them as like, Legacy level offerings. So we'll move into some ritual and legacy practices, like eco friendly, eco safe, sky or sea lantern rituals, Legacy box, and one of my favorites, spirit dinner. So we're going to talk about these right now. So let's begin with the lantern ritual. Remember, we are keeping the earth in mind with this one, too. So what are some Eco safe sky or sea lantern rituals? And what does that mean? So this is a symbolic release or offering using environmentally gentle materials. And this can be done alone or with other family members in a larger group, or super privately as a memorial. This one can be done once, or it can be done as a regular tradition, and it can be as simple or as elaborate as you want each time. These are deep ceremonial and sometimes long term practices, but you can also do it just one time only, and it's a beautiful ritual, but it actually carries a very simple practice at the heart of it. So the real under underlying concept here is creating light based or water based offerings as a powerful way to honor your loved one, especially during holidays, transition points in the year, or transition points in your life, instead of using traditional sky lanterns, like the ones you might have seen on the social medias, where they like light the little lantern and it flies up into the sky, which are environmentally harmful and unsafe and not ideal in a lot of ways. This practice we're going to talk about uses more eco friendly, biodegradable and fire safe alternatives for very symbolic moments and rituals. So the point is not the lantern itself. It's the intention, the pause, the honoring, the symbol of releasing love and memory or prayer into the world and to your loved one. So before I talk about the options for this one, I want to quickly help you understand why rituals involving water and light feel so powerful. They are used across many cultures and spiritual traditions and water is often seen as the symbol for emotion and spirituality. It represents depth, intuition, cleansing, reflection and the ability to carry prayer, memories and intentions, while light, on the other hand, symbolizes guidance, presence, illumination, clarity, the expansiveness of love, right? If you think about light illuminating a dark room, it gets into every corner, just like love permeates everything, and it also represents the soul's ongoing essence. So in many traditions around the world and over time, from parts of Asia to indigenous cultures to Celtic and European folk practices, and certainly in the North and South America's sending offerings into water or releasing symbolic light is believed to help carry our messages or intentions across the realms or through the veil. These rituals are not about sending anything to the afterlife or like a literal i. I'm going across distance, but it's more about creating a moment where the veil between the physical world and the unseen world feels thinner. It's the symbolic act of merging light, emotion, intention and nature, and it creates a sense of very deep connection. And it's a very spiritual, heartfelt practice. So with this in mind, here are some options for eco safe, gentle and accessible, ways to incorporate that same depth of meaning without harming animals or land or waterways. So I'm going to give you a couple examples. And remember, these can be as simple or as elaborate, even within these examples as you want them to be. So first, let's talk about eco safe floating flowers or leaf rituals. This is the water. So we're going to choose items that are quickly biodegradable and safe in water. So this is like flower petals, a single flower, or a few little blossoms, a large leaf, like think of like a magnolia leaf, or like a banana leaf, or any bigger leaf that you could find, and you can write a message on the leaf with water soluble ink, or even just holding it and energetically infusing your intention or prayer or wish into the letter. You can use herbs or natural materials like lavender, rosemary, eucalyptus are great things like brown sugar or honey, or brown sugar or honey for like sweet wishes of wellness and sweetness and love, you can use small stones or shells or drift items left on the shore, like natural materials. So you can write a message or an affirmation. It can be like a message or a wish for your person on the other side, on a leaf, you can do things like place the petals into the water with a moment of gratitude and just a love offering to them. You can drop a stone into the water representing releasing burdens, or them releasing their burdens as they are really fully in love. On the other side, you can do something like let a single flower carry a message downstream or with the tide. So there's lots of beautiful ways, but it's really about an item that is totally biodegradable or natural, and infusing your intention, your wish, your thought, your prayer, and then putting it in the water as representation of that depth of emotion that we still feel so important. Safety note for this next one, I really want to advise you to only place natural, preferably local and biodegradable, items into water, and please follow local guidelines and avoid protected areas. So we don't want to do this in somewhere that's like protected that we're not supposed to be. You guys just follow the rules and protect the Earth, please as part of this. So the next one I want to talk about is LED candles or a basket or drift offering. This is a water with fire, with light. So this one is fully retrievable, but you could also do a version that's not retrievable using entirely natural materials and no fire. So a beautiful alternative is to create a small offering basket using natural materials, maybe a small woven Reed bowl or basket or driftwood and place reusable LED tea light or battery candle inside. This is great for people to have, like a pool or a small body of water that's easy to like retrieve. You could do this right at the edge of the ocean, but you'd have to really make sure it wasn't going to get swept into the tide, because we don't want to put batteries in the ocean, obviously. So you don't send this one away. Instead, you just place it on the water's edge. Or, if it's like a pool, you can kind of let these float out into the pool, and it's really just taking some breaths and watching the glow as you connect. Imagine that light really just infusing and sending your wishes or your thoughts or your prayer or your affirmation or message that you want to send to your person in the spirit world. And it's you know, you do your ceremony for however many minutes you want to sit there and meditate or be in that energy. And then you retrieve your items, so pick them back up and take them home, not leaving LED candles, you know, in the ocean or in physical bodies of water out there. But if it's your own pool, it's really easy to retrieve, and you could leave it for as long as you like, as a decoration, even so, it's essentially a symbolic release without letting go. And think about how the light just permeates and the water representing deep emotions and that journey between worlds, even though we know the spirit world's just a just an unseen world within our world. So this essentially works super simple, just setting some intentions. It can be as simple as you indicating, like from your heart, I release this with love, or thank you for walking with me, or I honor you at every step I take in my neck. Chapter. Or may this light carry these memories to you, or an acknowledgement that just like light, their love is still permeating every area of your life and your heart. You can keep it super simple. You can say it silently. You can whisper it. You can write it down. You can just say it in your own heart. Spirit really responds to the energy, not the volume. So they know our emotions and our intentions. They experience our auric colors moving. You could, if you want to kind of do this a little more elaborately. You could write a short poem or a letter. You could write your wishes more fully out as a message to them. You could carry a small crystal that you're going to hold and bless during the ritual. You could do some breath work, kind of inhale love and exhale grief. You could include music or their playlist in the background. And this is really for people who want a little more of a physical, symbolic gesture, people who want some kind of quiet, very personal ritual during holidays or anniversaries or really any time, someone who's processing really complicated grief, people who feel kind of best when their ceremony, when they're like when their ritual includes a ceremony, or wanting to do something a little Bit more tangibly. I'm going to give you some examples. And some people really just like to include water or light or natural materials in their rituals. So this for you, if you like those kind of things. I've known people to do various versions of these rituals, and I know someone that once wrote on part of theirs. It was like a personal release. And it was basically like, I release what I no longer need to carry. And on a large, beautiful leaf, they had used watercolor pencil, and, you know, kind of wrote out their wishes and drew a little picture along with it. And then at sunset, they watched that leaf drift out to sea and then walked away feeling light or having symbolically and energetically released what was no longer serving them. I know someone else who did a little natural bowl with reusable LED lights in honor of a kiddo that had passed, and they had several friends and family from the community, you know, put wishes for this person in their own little bowls. It was kind of like the little coconut bowls that you get sometimes in summer. It's just what they had access to, but you could use just about whatever. And then they floated them out into this little like a pond that they had on their property. And then it was shallow enough that they could pretty easily collect them all. So then they collected them and but they did like a really special little ceremony. Someone in the group sang, someone was a singer, and someone else played a little bit of music, like an instrument that was quite lovely. And then they kept the materials, because they repeated this ritual every year for this person on their angelversary. So that's another more elaborate option. So these can be as private or as as community involved. They can be very simple as dropping a flower petal with an intention, or as elaborate as creating a whole setup for this. And this really is powerful, because these type of offerings give our body and spirit a moment of release, remembrance, integration. They allow us to feel like we're doing an action that's physically tangible. They allow us to express something from our heart that doesn't always need to have words. It can give us a sense of movement, of the energy. It's a symbolic connection with nature and all that is. It can help us release emotions. It can be a special moment of bonding and honoring with our loved ones in the spirit world, I love a ritual I don't know about you. And of course, it can be an eco conscious alternative to some of those traditional lantern ideas, and it becomes a beautiful way of saying, I honor you with light. I honor your presence, and I'm honoring the earth as I walk gently in it, and I remember that your soul permeates with love everything around me, just like this light or this water permeates, okay, we've got two more. This episode is going much, much longer than I intended, so I hope if you are hanging on with me for this long, I'm so grateful. And these are super exciting ones, so you're not going to want to miss these the next is a legacy box for future generations. It's a living, evolving container that carries the essence of who they are, who you are, and the story that continues between you. So the main concept here is a legacy box is it can be any type of container. It's just an intentionally chosen container that gathers pieces of your loved one's story, not to preserve it in the past, in like a frozen in the past, way, but to carry it forward so it can be physical, it can be digital, it can be symbolic, like you could be just in writing. And the point isn't to collect like things items. It's really to. Curate meaning. So you're building a bridge between the way they lived, what their life was about, the way they loved, the way they carry influence in your life, still what future generations may one day want to understand about this person. And this idea works beautifully, even if you don't have physical belongings from this person. So how does this work? Essentially, you just choose a box or a folder or a note section of your phone or a container that feels simple and beautiful to you or represents them in some way to you. And like I said, Give me an envelope, whatever you like. And it really is to capture the essence of this person, not to capture clutter. So some possible items you might want to put in a legacy box would be like it could be something in their own handwriting if you have that, a signature, a note, a recipe, a scrap of journal, because that still holds their energy. If you have it, if you don't, it's okay. You could even write their full name and put it in, or the name that you call them by, or a list of their nicknames. You can write a story about them, not a biography, but more of like a memory story, a story that captures their spirit, their humor, their quirks, their strengths, something special about them, something memorable about them, even if it's a single moment, one little page is enough. You could start with prompts like the thing I loved most about this person is a moment I'll never forget with them. Or if I could tell future generations one thing about this person I would want them to know this. You can include symbolic objects connected to memory. So could be like a rock from a place that they loved. Or I know someone that collects rocks from every place they go in the world and puts them in this box for this person as like souvenirs that they're bringing back for this person, still, it can be part of a greeting card that they saved, or a dried flower that's meaningful in some way, or tiny Holiday Ornament or a ticket stub from something you shared, or something you went to and thought about them. It can include things like a short letter to your future self, or your future family, parts of your lineage. It can be like, here's the thread that we're carrying forward. Of course, you can put photos. It can be a photo of the person, if you have it, but it could also be photos, or pictures that represent things about them, not necessarily like a posed portrait. It can be like a canned and silly photo or a blurry photo, or it can be a photo of a type of a car that they once had or loved, or a type of a place that they wanted to go, or their dream house, or something about them, right? So it doesn't have to be from them. It can be something that represents healing that you've done, a word or a symbol or a quote, or a tiny object that represents to you growth or healing or forgiveness or clarity that came after their passing. For example, you can include things tied to your ongoing connection. So it could be little descriptions of signs that they've sent, or of a new memory resurfaces. You can jot that down or record it and put it in there, or take a photo of it. It can be reflections of how they show up for you now, or things that like, you know how sometimes we hear someone give us advice or something, and it doesn't really make sense at the time. And then as we grow later, we're like, oh, that's what they meant. It can be when those type of it's called when the penny drops, or when something clicks in when you connect some dots. If you want to do audio or video, you can a short voicemail in their voice, if you have that or recording of you talking about them, photos of a safe text thread, or a video of you telling a story about them or other people that knew them sharing stories about them, can also be collected if you want to take it a little further, and this can be placed on like a USB drive or a digital folder and labeled with their name for years to keep going. And if you want to take it a little deeper, you can do this as like a yearly ritual, or you can open and explore this box on memories or holidays or once a year or when something new happens. You can intentionally pass it forward and give this memory box to your children or a close family member or someone that loved them. You can pair it with traits that you like the most about them for future generations. You could even, I really love this idea. I did this in a different way for someone before you could even create a list of questions to pass out to this person's family or friends so that they could each answer about this person from their own perspective and their own relationship, things like One memory I have with this person is or something they always said, their favorite food, what they what you know, what they remember as this person's like, favorite things or things they love to do. So you're getting other people's perspective of this loved one and combining them all. That's a really beautiful thing to do. You could even create this for yourself, for younger. Generations of your own family. You could be the person in the memory box. You could include a letter to future generations, or things like, what I wish I knew sooner. Type golden nuggets, right? This is so powerful this legacy box, because it's not about preserving sadness. It's about curating meaning. It reframes remembrance as something you build, not something to like, cling to in a stuck way. It's a map of our love and container for healing and a thread of that person's identity. It's a gift to future versions of you or future versions of your family, and a reminder that this relationship continues to grow, just as love continues on, and you're also saying you're still a part of our story, and your story will continue through me or through us. Okay, I am down to the last one of these. This is an incredible way, but an elaborate way, of remembering someone. And even within this idea, there are very simple versions and very elaborate versions. So this is the spirit dinner. Now, what is the spirit dinner? It's a symbolic, highly personal dinner where each dish or element represents an aspect of your loved one on the other side. So it can really be any gathering in their honor, a game night, a movie night, a beach picnic. You can get as creative as you want. It doesn't have to be a quote, unquote dinner, per se. It's just a title. So the real concept here is spirit dinner is not about recreating a loved one's recipes, although you could do a version of that if your loved one loved to cook and left great recipes or something. But it's more about creating a symbolic meal that represents different parts of their personality, their life, your relationship, or the qualities you want to carry forward. It can be as simple as one plate eaten alone on a TV tray, or as elaborate as a full table spread. The point is intention, not the ingredients. So how does this one work? Essentially, you choose one or more elements of the meal and let them represent like a trait that this person embodied, or something that they wish they'd done more of, or something you are ready to bring forward in your own life, or something you want to honor, heal or reclaim. So it can look like, for example, like a spicy dish if this person was bold or outspoken or a cozy suit, because they always nurtured you and gave you just what you needed when you were feeling off. It could be something crisp and refreshing because they valued honesty, or they were very direct or clear. It could be something sweet because they often sweetened or softened your life, or you sweetened theirs. It can be something colorful because their presence is very vibrant. It can be something very simple because they loved simply and lived simply and appreciate the simple, beautiful things in life. So this could be, for example, like a plate of bright citrus salad to honor that aunt who lit up every room and brought color wherever she went. It could be a small dish of roasted almonds to honor your grandpa, who always kept almonds in his pocket for his road trips. It could be a bowl of lentil soup because it's the only thing someone's mother would make when they wanted to feel cared for by the family. It could be a slice of bread with honey, because someone's brother always said life is sweeter than we realize. It can be a mug of mint tea because a friend on the other side give comforting advice and always brewed tea for you as they talk to you. It could be, if maybe they're a real sweet tooth. It could be a special rich treat in honor of them. It doesn't have to be the thing they liked, right? If you don't like the same thing, like if they love chocolate cake and so do you great. But what if they love chocolate cake and you hate chocolate cake, don't have chocolate cake and memory of them have something that you enjoy that's inspired by the memory of their love of chocolate cake, right? So the ritual moment before you eat, you could simply say this part is for the laughter I miss. This part is for the guidance I still feel. This part is for the way you shaped me. This is the life that I want to continue living because of you. It doesn't have to be pressure. You don't have to make it formal like that and actually declare something, but it's just that intention, as you're choosing the dishes and enjoying them, that you're really realizing and connecting those dots inside of yourself about the meaning behind it. And this is so powerful, because the Spirit dinner turns memory into meaning and meaning into embodiment, like an action, a physical thing that we're doing, you're literally taking in the qualities, the memories, the symbolic aspects of your loved ones, not holding on to some version of them in the past, but bringing part of who they are into where we are now. And if you want to take it to the next level, you can do this as the Spirit dinner potluck. And again, it doesn't have to be just a quote, unquote dinner. It can be a beach picnic or a game night or a. Whatever it is that feels genuine to you or your group. So what is the spirit? Dinner? Potluck, it's a beautiful, intimate gathering where friends or family each bring a symbolic dish inspired by personality, memory, essence of this shared loved one on the other side. Or you could do it, where everyone brings a dish representing their own special person. So it could be all about the same person, or all about people's own people that they miss. So if we're doing it all about the same person, let's just say, let's say we all have one friend in common that we all love very much, who's transitioned to the spirit world. We could invite a small circle of people who loved this person, your person right, or who you feel safe or comfortable with, and we can ask each person to bring a dish that represents either like a memory they have with this person, or an inside joke or a personality trait or a lesson they admired, or a moment that still makes them laugh, or maybe like a wish that this person had. For all of you, I couldn't even be like macaroni and cheese, because this person always laid it on thick, or they were so comforting that it always felt like home to be with them. Think outside the box with this one. I'm going to give a couple examples just to help you imagine what you could do in this one. So if someone, for example, this person had like, a little sparkle or spice or flare, because that person was always doing the most in the best way. You could do something that feels like Sunday morning, like cinnamon rolls. If this person used to make Sunday brunch, or go to brunch with you, because that's their quiet, sacred time, you could make something that's like a big laugh for someone who like hilariously or intentionally was silly. You could make a dish that feels just silly or playful or whimsical in some way. So really, you can do whatever you want. Here. Maybe you're going to bring something you know, cozy and calm and simple, because this person was grounded and easy going. So it's really about the personality and the memories that it invokes for each individual person that's bringing their own dish here. And it's helpful to have people sign up if you are going to do this, so we have enough, like appetizers, main dishes, desserts, so we don't get just like a whole table of desserts. But hey, maybe that is your loved one, and they would love a whole table of desserts and then for everyone to have to order pizza or something. So you'll see how it can be so quintessentially them on multiple layers at once. So to open the potluck, you could think about saying something like tonight, we're remembering not just who this person was in our lives, but how they live on through each of us right now, and each person can share even just one sentence about why they brought their dish and keep it light right. Heartfelt, no pressure. This works so beautifully because it creates connection without heaviness. Sometimes hearing our loved ones shared through someone else's experience really touches our heart in a different way, because all of us touch so many people and spread love in different ways, it can turn grief into shared meaning and community, especially if your person loved gatherings or loved bringing people together, and the gathering becomes more about celebration and community and togetherness than sadness, and it allows each person to contribute one piece of what this person meant to them. And it can become a tradition, if you really want to take it far, that can evolve year after year as people want to, you know, expand with it. You could even play music that reminds you of them while you cook or set up or have the meal, or add candles to the table representing their light still shining from each of you. You could keep the focus on love and connection and shared stories. And again, this can repeat annually, seasonally, even spontaneously, on like a random Saturday night when everyone's free. So it's really just a whole nother layered, deep way to bring this person into our day to day, lives, into our present and into the relationships that we share with other people who loved them, if we want to take it that far. So as we come to a close today, I want you to remember something really important. You do not have to do all of these ideas. Obviously, you do not have to turn your grief or your love into a project. Your loved one in spirit, is not grading you on how you honor them. Even choosing one simple practice from this list, like a micro moment of ritual or wearing something in their honor, can create a real thread of connection. I know something I do in my day to day life, privately that no one else would ever even recognize was going on. And maybe you feel drawn to building a living memory shelf or starting a continuing conversation letter or putting together a playlist that feels like this person's essence. Maybe you're ready for something deeper. Like a legacy box or a spirit dinner or a potluck, if you're going to really go all out, but whatever you choose, the heart of this is this, your relationship did not end. It changed form. It changed the way the interaction happens. These ideas are simply different doors that you can walk through to feel that bond in a way that fits who you are now. Grief can be loud, especially around the holidays, and it can also surprise us at very random times of the year or the day, and I encourage you to be gentle with yourself. There's no right timeline. There's no right or wrong way to do this. Your loved one in in the spirit world, they're not asking you to perform your pain or your sadness. They're cheering for you. They want your healing, your joy and you to live your most authentic life. One of the most powerful ways you can honor your loved ones on the other side is by living, by laughing again when you feel ready, by resting, by saying yes to what is truly aligned for you, and sometimes by saying no, by carrying forward the best of who they are, and in some cases, doing it differently in ways that they maybe wished that they had. And one of the most powerful parts of this episode is that hopefully it gave you a new idea, a new inspiration. And if you did have an idea that was born out of the inspiration of any of these ideas or your own idea that you do, I would love it if you would share it. And I hope that you will try something new this week or this season. Notice how you feel, and if you are comfortable sharing it, I would love it if you would also share this episode with someone who's missing a person this season and might need some fresh, gentle ways to stay connected. And if you enjoy these conversations here with me in spirit speakeasy, it is a huge help when you follow the podcast, wherever you are listening to this, please leave a review if you can, or share your favorite episode on social media or with a friend. It helps more sensitive souls who are grieving and growing find this special space that we've created here together, you and I. You never know who needs to hear that their loved ones are still close and that they're allowed to live fully and honor them at the same time. So thank you so much for spending this time with me today and with your loved one in the spirit world. I am sending you so much love as always. I will meet you again here inside spirit. Speak Easy. Bye for now. You.