When Mediumship Doesn’t Work: Why It Happens and What It Really Means

Have you ever wondered why a mediumship reading didn’t seem to connect—or worried your loved one didn’t want to talk? You’re not alone.

In this heartfelt episode, Joy Giovanni, The Joyful Medium, shares the real reasons a reading might feel “off” and what it truly means when mediumship doesn’t work the way we expect.

You’ll discover how the spirit world communicates based on need, not demand; why timing and readiness matter; and what it does not mean when your loved one doesn’t appear during a session.

This conversation brings understanding, reassurance, and a reminder that connection and love never disappear—they just take different forms.

✨ Listen now for clarity, compassion, and insight into what’s really happening behind the scenes of spirit communication.

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Joy. Hey, beautiful soul, welcome to spirit. Speak Easy. I'm Joy Giovanni, joyful medium. I'm a working psychic medium, energy healer and spiritual gifts mentor. This podcast is like a seat at the table in a secret club, but with mediums, mystics and the spiritual luminaries of our time. So come behind the velvet ropes with me and see inside my world as I chat insider style with profoundly gifted souls, we go deep, share juicy stories, laugh a lot, and it wouldn't be a speakeasy without great insider secrets and tips. You might even learn that you have some gifts of your own so step inside the spirit speakeasy. Hey, beautiful soul. Welcome in for another episode of spirit speakeasy. On today's episode, we are going to talk about when mediumship doesn't work. I so often get asked if mediumship is hard, or if it ever just doesn't work if maybe someone's loved one simply doesn't want to talk to them. It's such an honest question, and today we're diving into the truth behind it. So in this episode, I'll share what's really happening when a session doesn't unfold the way that we hope what it does not mean about your loved one, and I'll also share some common reasons that a reading can feel off or just not quite successful in the way that we may have hoped. And also, I think it's important to give you some tips about what to expect in a reading and what to be looking for to know if it's working in the best way possible. So whether you've had an experience that you're just uncertain about, or if you're just curious about mediumship and the ins and outs of it, this conversation will hopefully bring some clarity, compassion, maybe even a little relief. I also want to just mention that while these are some of the reasons that a session could go wrong or not quite work out. It's definitely not an exhaustive list. There are so many little nuanced reason reasons, but hopefully this will give you enough of an explanation that you can infer a lot of those other reasons. And because I know that if you are with me and listening to this pod, you are an intelligent, discerning adult human being. In this conversation, we are going to go under the assumption that you vetted the medium, either got like a referral from someone that has worked with them or that you trust. You maybe saw reviews for this medium. You maybe had a little bit of understanding of them and their work. Maybe you saw them at a group reading, or saw their work, or have seen them in some capacity before, that you know for sure that they are actually a medium and that they also have enough training and expertise to be working professionally. Okay, so those are the caveats, because if any of those pieces are off, well, that's a whole different can of worms, so to speak. So you've got this medium, they're actually a medium. They're trained and have enough expertise to actually be working professionally. You either saw reviews or got a good referral. And I also want to acknowledge as part of this talk, while as we're diving in, that it's such an honor to do this work as a medium. I do realize that my clients are trusting me with the souls of their most beloved people. So the intention of this episode is not to blame or shame. We're all human. We're all doing the very best that we can, and it's natural to have these types of questions or uncertainty. So this is all intended in love, and I hope that you will take it that way and give me some grace. I really have had this episode written for a while, but I get a little nervous about sharing things that could be controversial or that could make people feel triggered. I know it's just a part of life, but I try very hard to be sensitive to everyone and where they are at. So let's talk first about what it means to have a successful communication from the spirit world, since that's where some of the misconceptions may begin, even though there is a certain expectation about what quote, unquote, mediumship means, each medium is an individual artist, and we all work differently, just as human beings. I like to really highlight that mediumship is an art form. It's not a science. There is not a way for, you know, in science and in more science based careers, even in something like therapy, there is a prescribed set of rules and meanings and a system to work within. And while that's true with mediumship, much like any type of artistry, there are guidelines and there are certain ways to work, but there is no. So like specific, if this then always that it really is an artistry and an art form that's created by the medium, the individual, spirit, person and the sitter. So it is everyone is involved energetically. And again, it's not a science. It's more of an art form. So let's just talk about what an actual successful communication means. It means essentially that the medium shares details, including, but not limited to remember. It's not a checklist that we're going down to make it successful, but these are some of the types of details that you might hear from a medium, things like the personality traits of the loved one or the person spirit person, facts or details from their life at any point in their life, shared memories, experiences. Sometimes they might share things going on in your life or times that they spend with you. They may or may not talk about ways that they say hello in the world, they may or may not share details about things you went through together, things that they personally went through at any point in their life, or things you're going through now, it's neither the sitter, nor the medium who chooses which details are shared in a communication. It is not me as the medium with a list, a checklist of like, okay, Spirit people, you must answer these questions. And it's also not my sitter that gets to come in with a list of demands. It's not a laundry list that we're going down, but rather, as a medium, we're blending our soul with the soul of the spirit person, and they are sharing the details that they need to share, or that they know that need to be communicated, not based on demand, while my sitter or client might have certain wants, the communication is really based on the need of the soul, whether it's the need of the client soul or the soul who is the spirit person on the other side the communication, the emotion, is really driven by need. Now, it is very normal to have human wants, but really the communication is driven on the need. And we can debate at some future point about the degree of success of a communication, but if there are details about a spirit person that are true, even if you can't recognize them in that moment, and you go back and check them later and say, like, oh, actually, that was a person in my family. I just didn't know them very well. So if there are details about the person that are true, that's a success, successful communication. But the measure of successful communication from the spirit world through a medium is not defined by the client getting everything they want, or even hearing from every single person that they want in any given session. It doesn't mean that if you get 10 items on your list unchecked and one item checked that that's not successful. That is successful. It's not about what we want to hear or our demands as as the human person on this side. It is about the spirit person, their need, how they want to identify themselves. I could create a list and try to go down it. It doesn't work for lots of reasons, which, if you want to dive into, we can talk about it another conversation. So it's like an hour chat in and of itself. But really, the truth is, the spirit person knows how to best identify themselves in ways that I could never hope to understand. And I've even had it where my recipient, my sitter, my client, didn't you'll hear me use all of those words we use, all of these words in mediumship, didn't recognize the spirit person, and I gave them some details, and they couldn't place the person. And then I, you know, moved on and allowed the next spirit person to communicate. And then later, they've checked with a family member or done some just research in the history of their family, and have said, Oh my gosh, my dad recognized that as his grandpa, and all of the things were true and it was so meaningful to him. Perhaps that bit wasn't for the sitter, actually, that was in my office. Perhaps it was to open someone else's mind. So there are many layers of things going on that as the medium are not my place to try to know or figure out or extract. The more that my busy mind is in there, the less helpful it is. I'll say it that way. So I really just want to make sure that we understand that a successful communication in the most basic way has to do with giving factual details or personality about the spirit communicator, and is not defined by getting everything that the client wants or expects to hear from, or even from every single person that they're hoping to hear from in that session. I'm going to give a little example. Someone recently was in my office, and sometimes I will ask people if they've ever. Experienced a reading before, because it just helps me know what their experience level is, if they know how to respond, what type of experience they've had. I don't ask a lot of details about it, but this particular person launched into essentially like a criticism of another medium. And what they were saying was that they felt like this session wasn't successful. They were very disappointed. They were very unhappy. And when I asked them to say more about like, say more about that like would say more about why you felt that way, or say more about this, the session feeling unsuccessful to you, and what they ended up saying was, when I asked them that they were able to recognize the spirit person that communicated, and it was more than one person, and through the details, even though it took a little while to shape up, it sounded like they did recognize those people that communicated. Because I said, like, you know, so okay, you recognized the people. And they said, Well, yeah, several family members came through, actually, and gave details enough that I knew who they were. But as the conversation went on, they were saying but I wanted to hear about me. I wanted them to share XYZ specific memory that I remember about them, and I wanted them to talk about my life and my family, and I wanted to know what they thought about me and my life choices, and I wanted them to tell me what to do about XYZ situation. And while I cannot speak for another medium's work, I was not there for that session. I don't know the medium that this person worked with, and it's definitely not my intention to invalidate someone else's feelings or experience. It did make me wonder if perhaps the expectations that this person had of the session was part of the challenge here, and based on what we just talked about before this, I'm hoping you can see and connect these dots for yourself, while I completely understand that having our own human desires is like part of our experience. These wishes are not the need of the soul, yours or theirs, but just that a human desire and what we want, and sometimes our want involves a need to control. Now I don't control the session, nor can my sitter or recipient control the session. I do my best to work with the spirit people on the other side, but they really are more in charge of the direction of the session, if it's working properly. My intention is to be following them and what they want to share, and not taking control and demanding information of them, I hope you can feel as I'm saying, it the different energy of those two things, demanding information and taking control, versus me just trying to follow the details that they're sharing. I've talked about this a little bit before. Mediumship is a mystical experience. I'm blending my soul with theirs. I'm essentially energetically quickening my vibration, raising my vibration, and they are slowing or lowering their vibration and blending their soul with mine. So they are agreeing to communicate. They are showing up. I don't even know who it's going to be when I start to blend with them, I start to get a sense of perhaps their gender, perhaps their role in this person's life. Some communicators start with details about their personality. Some start with a very specific memory or characteristic. So it's different every time, from my perspective, and I'm just doing my best job to stay in this mystical experience and to do my best for the spirit person. But there are so many things that can kind of go wrong as a part of this, and control, or the need to control, is one of them. Now I'm going to give you just a few things that could also go wrong in a session of why it just, quote, unquote, doesn't work. Now that we've talked about what it means to work or not work, one reason could be just as simple as like the mediums having an off day. Mediums are human. And again, this is an art form, not a science. I specifically set up my day personally as a medium. And again, everyone does it differently, so I'm not saying what someone else must or must not do, this is just what's working for me, and it's just what's working for me right now, because I change and grow as well. I really try to set up my day in a very specific way on the days that I'm doing readings, which is several days out of the week, usually, I limit the number of clients that I'm taking per day. It's pretty low, just so I can try to give my highest quality to everybody. There's specific things I personally will not do before readings. I won't I try very hard not to engage in anything stressful or traumatic, if possible. I mean, if someone I love is going through something, I might have to have a conversation with them or show up for something. But the truth is, there are certain people in my life. Life that I won't I try my very best not to speak to on the phone or have a conversation with before I do a reading, because it could set, you know, I'm a human person. I'm just a little person over here, it could set me in a different direction. We all have those people in our lives that are maybe unpredictable or maybe can trigger our emotions in different ways. It doesn't mean we don't love them, but I choose when to talk to them. But you know, I'm human and I can just have an off day. All mediums are clearly human, and we all can have just an off day. So that's one reason it could be just medium having an off day. Another reason that a session could not work. This just might not be the right medium for you, or this specific moment like so one is that it could just not be the right medium for you. And once in a blue moon, I have stopped a session and told someone, I just don't think I'm the right medium for you. The energy won't feel right. It often will feel very oppositional in some way. And the truth is, there's a medium for everyone, so someone's not the right medium for you. There's plenty out there, and there's someone for everyone. So it might not be the right medium for you, or this specific reading or moment in time just might not be right. It might not be the time for the reading that you are hoping for that most often has to do with us in our human grieving process. It could be that you are not ready to hear from this specific communicator that you are really wanting to hear from in this session. Maybe it's just not the right time for them to share with you what they need to share in the way they need to share it. There could be lots of threads with this, like I was saying, this is just a basic list, or, I mean, it's a deep list, but you can infer a lot of things, hopefully into what I'm saying without me having to, like, call out specific instances. But sometimes we're not at the place in our grieving process to have the depth of reading that we could have, the reading is only going to go to the depth or level of intricacy that the cooperative components allow, meaning me as the medium, the spirit, people and my client, if my client is very resistant and wanting to argue about every detail that do end up to be correct, but they're just not in a place to hear it. It's just not going to build to where it could. So that could be a reason that it feels like it doesn't go to where it could. I sometimes hear, Well, I worked with this medium for a while, but I just want someone new, or I just didn't feel like I got what I needed in my last session. So now I'm switching to a different medium, and that's fine to do, but I would also look at the individual's emotions, right? Not just the medium, but the individual. And sometimes, yeah, sometimes you can work with one medium for a while, and then their energy changes, or yours changes, or you just want a different experience, and all of that is also perfectly okay to do. Also, not everyone's personalities get along well, that's what I mean partially when I say like it just might not be the right medium for you. For example, if a client is trying to control the reading, it may still technically work, right? I or another media may still get details or communication from the spirit world, but if the recipient is trying to control the communication and saying like, well, I don't want to hear about that. I don't want to hear about how they passed, I'm hoping to hear about something else that's taking control. So it might not be what it could be if we just let it happen and just have the mystical experience, right? You do have to kind of go in with an open heart. And a lot of people think they're coming in with an open heart, but they're not necessarily another piece of it under this heading of like, not the right medium, not the right time, this control aspect of it is perhaps someone is communicating from the other side or trying to come through, is sometimes how people say it that we don't want to hear from, or it's someone that is not the person. The main person that we're hoping to hear from is to trust the process, meaning, there's lots of reasons that a different person could be the first person to start a session or a group reading, or that several people could communicate that aren't quite yet the person that you really were feeling like you needed to hear from. It could be building the energy in the room. It could be calming something in you. It could be that they have something that they need to communicate. Whether you feel like you need to hear it or not. It could be for someone else in your life. There again. There's so many reasons in here, but if the recipient is trying to take control and say like, oh, I don't want to hear from that person. I only want to hear from the one I want to hear from, try to figure out who that is and get them it's not phone. Friend, I wish it was. I often joke and say like, Well, I wish they would stand next to me and talk in my ear and just I could have that type of conversation. But that is not how mediumship works. It's just not. And instead of trying to make it something it's not, what has worked best for me is just to focus on what it is and the way that it does work. So again, these are all little forms of trying to take control, and it is so much in our human nature, especially when we're in pain or discomfort or when we feel desperate to hear from someone, it can be very hard again. This is not a judgment. It can be very hard to just allow the session to go the way it needs to go in that particular moment in time, so trying to control the reading. It still might technically work, but it's not going to be what it could have been had we just allowed it to naturally unfold in the way it needs to. Another reason the session just might not work is that you might not have an actual need. Okay, please don't come for me when I say this, this is the part, one of the parts that I'm like a little nervous to talk about. Just being curious is not enough of a need to have a reading. Now, sometimes we're not honest with ourselves, and we do really need to hear either psychically things about our own soul and our own life, or mediumistically, from the spirit world, but just being curious. I'm just curious. If anyone wants to talk to me, I'm just I have no need. Nothing's wrong, nothing's going on. My life is perfect. I've not really lost anyone significant to me. I don't really need to hear from anyone. I'm just curious. That's not going to be the most successful version of a session. And I'm not saying this to discourage people from getting readings, because I love this work, and I love what I do, and I know how profound sessions can be, and I do know sometimes we think like, oh, well, maybe someone has a greater need than me. It's not about comparing to someone else's need. It's being honest with yourself. Do you have an actual need, or do you feel an urge within, almost like a person on the other side is like, ready to communicate, because just feeling curious is not enough, and sometimes, like just once in a blue moon, I'll find that someone's friend had a really powerful session. I'm thinking of someone in particular who has a beloved parent on the other side that passed suddenly and quite young, and they the session was lovely and very meaningful for them, and in sharing it with their friends, they had a couple other friends that had sessions as well, and some of them were really meaningful and deep and powerful, and others were maybe a little more surfacey, but one of the friends just didn't have a need. They just were feeling kind of FOMO, a little bit like they were missing out because their friends had sessions that were really moving and powerful and meaningful in their lives, and they wanted that too, which is a natural human desire, but they hadn't lost anyone in their life, and they didn't want to hear anything about themselves. There was a lot we could have done in the psychic work of direction and guidance and peeling back some of the layers of them, but they didn't want it. So that session just didn't feel fully fulfilling to them, because they had no one on the other side that needed to communicate or that they needed to hear from, and they weren't willing to hear about their lives again taking control. So just being curious is not enough. But please don't let that stop you. Just allow it to help you. Question, is this the right time for me? Do I feel ready to just accept what happens? Do I have someone on the other side that I that I really would like to hear from? Do I feel a need of some kind, right? Many people forget again that this is an actual mystical experience happening. It's not a parlor trick. It's not a snap your fingers and okay, go do the medium thing. Let's let's see. It just is not going to be as successful as it could if it's not driven by a need of the soul. That's where the real power and energy, and a reading comes from is the need. And the need might not be the sitter, the need might be the spirit person. So they I have had people say, like, I don't know. I just felt like I needed to come in. I'm not even sure who's going to communicate. I do have people on the other side, but I don't know. And then there's a spirit communicator that needs to communicate, and everything is really successful. So it doesn't have to be your need. It can be the need of the other side. So another reason that this beautiful gift of mediumship might not work to the degree we hope in a session could be because the sitter, whether it's you, I'm going to say you, but don't take it personal. The sitter you might not be ready or in the emotional state for the communication. The spirit world loves us like as individuals. They love us as a collective. They love us and they have our best interests at heart, so to speak, or at top of. Top of their awareness, and you just might not be ready to hear from a certain person or to hear about a certain subject matter, even if, on a very conscious level, you think that you are ready, your soul, you as a soul, might not be ready. I have found this, not exclusively, but particularly with people that have a very challenging passing or who had some very challenging aspects of their life or personality, that sometimes the person that loves them, that's still here in the physical world is not ready to hear about some of the details that relate to what that spirit person wants to share about their own personal challenges or complication or the way that they pass. Now, it's never my intention as a medium to pull threads that are going to traumatize my sitter, right? I don't want to do that to my clients. I try to be very gentle in the way I share information, but I also owe a duty to the spirit world. They're agreeing to communicate with me, and this might be their only opportunity to share what they need to share with this person who's in front of me. And so I try to tread lightly and be very delicate with delicate situations, and it always comes from a place of non judgment and love for me as the medium this in between, right this middle person. But sometimes spirit people have hard stuff to share, not always. Sometimes they don't want to talk about the hard things. Sometimes they only want to share about the light things. But if it's their need, or if it's the need of the sitter, sometimes, if we're not ready to go in a certain direction, or if we're not in the emotional state for the communication, perhaps it's too soon. Perhaps we haven't processed our own grief. Perhaps we still have so much anger that we won't be able to allow the communication to build in the way it needs to build that often does show up as someone saying, like, I don't want to hear about that. I don't want to hear about that affair that they had. Like, I'm not open to talk about that, and it's fine. It's okay if you don't want to hear about a specific thing, but just know the communication is not going to be as successful or build to the point that it could, because again, we're taking control and demanding. Demanding isn't always just what we want to hear about. It can be what we don't want to hear about, and again, it's okay. We're all human, and it's all a natural part of the evolution of our emotions. But if we're not ready or in the emotional state for the communication, sometimes it just can't go to where it could go. So we might feel like it's a little lackluster, less successful, but we have to look at, well, did we try to direct it ourselves, or did we just let it unfold naturally? Now, I do also want to share what it does not mean when it doesn't work. It does not mean that your spirit person doesn't want to visit with you, doesn't want to communicate from the other side. It does not mean that they have moved on and are no longer available. I heard this recently, and it shook me to my core that another medium had told someone, oh, well, that loved one is not available, and they've probably moved on to another place and they are just not available to communicate with you anymore. That's not true, as far as I understand it in the years that I have in this work, and I've had mentors that have had many, many, many more years collectively than me, and I just know that it's not because they're mad at you, it's not because they don't want to share with you or visit with you. It's not because they've moved on and they're not available. It's not because they're not at peace. They are. They're immediately at peace. It's not because they're stuck in a bad place. I have to take a big exhale on this one. I recently have had kind of a trickle of people that seem to be finding me who have visited a specific medium that's here locally in the greater San Diego area. I don't know this person. I don't know their name. Truly, I wouldn't call them out anyway in that way, but I know that they're located at a beach community. I'll say it that way. And this person, this so called medium, is taking people's money and promising to provide a session. And then I have heard from numerous kind of younger people that this person is telling them, Oh, your person is stuck. They're in a bad place. They're not at peace, they're very stressed out, and they can't communicate, and you need to help them. And lo and behold, this person has the cure for this, for the low, low price of whatever they're being charged to do a candle or a spell or a something like that, that is all such BS. And I'm so grateful that somehow a few of that person's clients have found me so that then I can bring through or communicate with their beloved people and kind of put. Prove to them or help them understand and see like, no, they're not in a bad place, they're not stuck, they're right there. Perhaps this person is just not really a medium, or is focused in a different way. So I'll just leave it at that. But it doesn't mean that your person's in a bad place or that they're stuck or that they're not available, or that they've moved on, or that they don't want to talk to you, and if somebody tells you that immediately, just say, Okay, thank you. I want to end the session and find somebody else. That would be my guidance for the people closest to me, and that's my guidance for you. So that's what it doesn't mean. Now I'm going to give you some tips quickly, just to help you. If you've ever had a session that you were unhappy with, or to help you kind of align yourself in the best way to get the most out of your session. And again, we can't demand but there are ways that we can show up that are maybe more in alignment versus less in alignment. If you've ever been unhappy with a session with a medium, I would just highly recommend consider reaching out to your medium directly to see if they would consider a partial refund or even a full refund before leaving a negative public facing review. Now everyone has the free will to like say what they want to say and the way they want to say it, but I feel like does maybe this is just me as a person and the people that I know, any business that I'm going to work with, if it's a restaurant, if it's a I don't know. I mean, I've been with my hairdresser for a long time, but a place to get my hair done in a new city or whatever it might be, right, get your tires changed, I would give the business an opportunity to make it right. If I wasn't happy with the service, either give me a refund or a do over, or, I don't know, whatever. Maybe you didn't like them and you you just weren't happy and you want a refund. I would allow the business and opportunity, whoever it is and whatever it is, to make it right before just really cutting them down publicly as mediums. This is probably the most vulnerable thing that we do in the world. This is the most personal gift to us. And even if we've done this work for a lot of years, there's so much trust and vulnerability involved when we're working and the truth is, most mediums like we talked about at the top, if they're a real medium and you've got a referral or recommendation, or they've got good reviews, their heart is probably in the right place, and they probably don't want to leave someone feeling so unhappy after their session that they would even want to leave a bad review. I know me, there's not many times in it here where it doesn't work out, but there are a few, whether it's any of the reasons that I've listed above, and maybe it's just that I'm not the right person for them or they, you know, even if they had a different expectation and I can't provide the checklist that they wanted, I still will give a refund. So that's just maybe a personal thing for me, as someone who also, like has a public facing business, allow that person a chance to make it right. And I really, for me, and I encourage, hopefully for all of you, I think that's a blanket statement for any type of particularly small business that you're working with, because to small businesses, those negative reviews can really make a big impact, and can also be not a complete view of the work or what happened in the session. So let them make it right for you. The other one of the other tips I want to give you is resist the urge to demand of your loved one. On the other side, you have to get the medium to say this word or talk about this specific thing or this specific memory, I won't believe it's you if you don't, if you don't say this specific thing, please, please, please, if you take nothing else away from this episode, please don't do that. You're really risking depriving yourself of a potentially beautiful experience. I had someone. It's been a handful of years now, since I worked with this person, but it's really stuck in my mind as an example of this. And this person was a lovely person. They were deeply in grief. They had lost someone incredibly important to them in a very traumatic and unexpected way. Not that that makes it any different, but just to kind of set the intensity for you. And the session went in a very nice way, the person that they needed to hear from, because they truly had the need communicated and shared details about their personality and expressed. And as we were working, they were saying, oh my gosh, that sounds exactly like them, and that is their personality, and they do have that tattoo, and they did have this relationship, and it was, you know, just lovely. And the communicator was a really good communicator, and I felt like I was understanding them really well. And the end of the session, just as I was wrapping up, I just became aware of a specific memory, and it was a very small memory. The way it came in was fleeting, and I had almost stopped. Dismissed it, but I had almost because the memory felt very outside of the personality of the person that I had just been describing and working with, and we were almost out of time, and I was like, well, it doesn't feel like a new communicator, like an additional spirit person, but I am going to just give this little bit of information even though I don't quite understand it, which often I like to understand something and how it fits in as I'm giving it. And the sitter said to me, oh my gosh, I'm so glad you said that, because I told them they had to mention that very specific memory from 20 years ago in order for me to really believe it was them. And I just was like, I don't know, the wind was knocked out of me, maybe, and we were at the end anyway, and I just kind of said to them, like, wow, that was really risky. And didn't you feel like everything else that they gave was so purely them, as you were saying, that if they hadn't given that little obscure memory from 20 years ago, that you wouldn't have accepted anything else that they gave this whole time. I just like again, the wind was just knocked out. It still is, and it's been years. So let the spirit person share what they need to share in the way they need to share it. Maybe the story that they want to talk about or the need that they have has nothing to do with that random memory or catchphrase or word. And I've had this happen over the years, a good handful of times, where the person's like, Yeah, but I just want to know what was the nickname they called me. And if I don't have it, I don't have it. I don't demand information, nor can I, because if I'm grabbing or Mavis used to call it snatching or demanding specific information, there is a high probability that my mind will want to come in and create that information, instead of being open and receiving the information that the spirit person wants to share. So even though, of course, it's human nature, there's definitely a version of me that would have done the same thing and been like, Okay, I need to hear this about this specific thing to know, but I'm just encouraging you you have free will so you could do what you want, but I'm encouraging you to please, just let the session develop in the way that it needs to, and resist the urge to demand something specific, as far as like catchphrase or specific detail from your loved one, to believe it's them. Let them do the work and show you that it's them, even without a specific catchphrase. Another helpful tip I want to give you is not everything and everyone should be expected to be covered in one sitting. Most mediums are our sittings are depending on the medium. I have some mediums that I know that their sittings are only 20 or 30 minutes. Mine are usually about 50 minutes for a one on one session. Most evidential mediums intend to meet the need that that person has in that session, or the need of the spirit world. And while a client might have like a laundry list of areas that they want to know about or want to talk about, or all the people that they've ever known that are on the other side that they want to hear from. Please know that only so much can be covered in one session. It doesn't mean you can't have another session at a future date and hope for some of those other things to be communicated about, but some of them might be just a want or human desire, not an actual need. Thinking of someone else that I had kind of recently. This gentleman was so lovely, and the session was really wonderful. And the person that came through was very expressive and was very specific and unique person, and gave so much detail. And towards the later half of the session, this person's like pulling out a little paper list from their pocket, and they're unfolding the list. And this happens sometimes, and I just was like, Oh, I'm just curious, like, is there anything on your list that we didn't get to? And they were kind of going down, and they're like, no, they actually mentioned a lot of these things. There is one thing I was hoping that they might know what I wore last week. And I was like, Oh, I don't know. I'm sorry, because I just didn't have that. But there had been so much that came through in the 40 minutes of the session. We had already done that, just pinning it down to, you know, again, it's kind of the same thing, one thing of needing to be heard, or one area of wanting to cover. It's really about the need, and that's what's prioritized in the energy of the session with any medium that I know anyway, and myself included, so everything's not going to get squished into one session. And I the reason I share that is because I have occasionally had someone be disappointed that it's like, Oh, mom came through, and dad and sister and uncle and they we talked about their career and some things going on in their love life that they needed to hear about. But then they were like, oh, you know also, I was really hoping to hear from my third grade teacher and my childhood best friend. And it's like, okay, well, it's not that that can't happen. It's that this was the need for this container, this session time, this. These were the priority of needs that the spirit world created, and perhaps that need can be addressed in another session. But just set up your expectations in a healthy way that not everything is probably going to get tackled in one session, especially if you feel like there's a lot that you would like to hear about, just know it's going to be based on the need. Okay, so all of that being said, I hope this conversation brought you some clarity and hopefully some comfort around what it really means when mediumship doesn't, quote, unquote, work, maybe you have a little bit of a different perspective of what it means for it to work, right? Maybe you thought it was the laundry list, and now you realize, Oh no, it's the way that they want to express themselves and the things they want to share, to identify themselves, and that should bring me peace and comfort. So hopefully, you can remember that true communication with the spirit world. It's a sacred exchange. It's a soul to soul communication. It's not a performance. It's not something that can be forced or controlled. It truly is a mystical experience. If you've ever had a session that left you questioning things, I hope that this helps you see that the connection and love don't disappear just because the reading didn't unfold the way that you expected or hoped. Your loved ones in the spirit world are always around you. They're always finding ways to reach you, sometimes just in a quieter or more unexpected or more surprising way. If this episode resonated with you, please take a moment to subscribe. Wherever you are listening to this, I would love it if you would give me a rating or share with someone that might need a little extra reassurance today. Maybe you know someone that had a session that they didn't feel went the way they needed to, and maybe this will help them understand, potentially, why or what happened. Or maybe you know someone that was disappointed that certain people communicated from the spirit world and other people didn't, and and maybe it will help them know that no, those people still love you and they're still with you. It's just these other people had a stronger need in that specific moment in time, just like time, we can't necessarily put time in a bottle and capture a moment and hold it forever as time changes, as we grow and shift different loved ones might be ready to communicate in a different way, or a loved one that you've heard from in a different session, might be ready or have the need now to share about something else, because you're more ready to hear about it. So I really just want to hope you help you know that your loved ones, your own guides, are always available to you. You can communicate with them, you can sense and feel them, and if you would like more resources or guided meditations, I have an upcoming mastermind that's going to be before the end of the year, kind of like a mini workshop that's going to be condensed. Please visit me at joyful medium.com and please get on my email community. That is where I announce most of this stuff first, and it's where I can kind of blast things out the easiest. Social media is so noisy that people don't tend to see things, so the direct emails that I send really are the best way to have your pulse on like what's happening, what's being offered. Most of you know I offer a lot of free community offerings throughout the year, just because it's my intention to hold the space for you and to help us all learn and grow and expand together. So until next time, remember love never dies and the conversation with your loved ones never really ends. Big hugs, lots of love. Bye for now from inside spirits speakeasy, you.